Always searching

Each week I wonder what it would be like if I could tell each patient what the perfect way of eating would be, for them. Or, what the perfect way to exercise would be, for them. Yet as I ponder that, I realize it's an exercise in futility, simply because, even if I knew the answer, there is no guarantee that anyone would follow through on my advice. Life events would get in the way, and the ability to sustain that perfect diet or perfect method of exercise would fade away.

I'm sure that none of us could necessarily be able to say at what weight, or what body shape, or what level of fitness would we be truly happy. It's a very ill defined end goal. Would we be totally happy with a certain number on the scale? Would we be totally happy if we trained and trained and finally completed a half marathon? Possibly, yet once there, whether the scale number or the half marathon, what would define us next year or the year after or 5 years from now?

Our weight and our level of fitness defines only a small part of ourselves. They are an important part of what defines our health status and level of energy and confidence, but they aren't the major factors that define who we are. One could be a completely thin very fit marathon runner, but if he or she wasn't a kind and caring person, that is not a person I would want you to strive to be.

Along those lines, we should be aware that each of us has different goals on a short and long term basis. My feeling is that a lot of us get caught up in comparisons. We want to look like another person, or be as fast or as strong as ‘that' other person, but even if there was some way that I could wave that magic wand and create that look or fitness level, that is no guarantee of happiness.

Don't compare yourself to others. You are unique. Your shape or size may not be what you want right now, but it doesn't define you. Keep perspective of what is important for you, not what you might perceive others think of you.

On a daily basis, I would wish for everyone to be searching for what makes them feel good about themselves. One thing I know for sure, is that if we have a good day of eating, and have a day where we have done some exercise, we feel better about ourselves. If we could string a number of days, then weeks, then months together, we would feel downright proud of our achievement. There is no gold medal waiting for us at a certain weight, or a certain level of fitness, just an inner sense of wellbeing.

All of these musings are important for me, because people are so hard on themselves and allow themselves to be easily discouraged if within a certain period of time they haven't reached a (possibly unrealistic) weight loss goal, or fitness goal. Life carries on. Ultimately our goal should be about feeling healthy, without chronic illness. Or, if we have a chronic illness, it's about making it better, much better. It's realizing that we reach out and know that our weight, or our health is a lifelong story. It's about doing those small things on a daily basis that become habit, that lead us to feeling confident about ourselves. I am, and you are, always searching for what makes us feel good about what we are doing and who we are becoming. This never ends. We need to have long term, lifelong goals.

Possibly another way of looking at it, is; are you truly on a better path of eating or exercising than you were yesterday or last week? If so, you are a hero! That to me is the definition of success. Improving, or trying to improve in all aspects of yours (and my) life day by day, week by week. Don't drift. Don't give up. Search for those things (habits) that, when you do them, you feel good about yourself. Weight loss will happen if you just keep on working at eliminating unnecessary snacks, and smaller portions and removing excess sugar-carbohydrates from your diet. You will get stronger if you do some strength training. You will be able to become more fit, if you do some level of exercise regularly.

Don't allow yourself to stay discouraged for long. Don't compare yourself to others. Search for what makes you happier, and then strive to sustain that lifestyle.

Never give up. We are all in this together.

Dr. Doug